Getting rejection letters left and right: some clean and quick, others long and agonizing.
That week long waiting game between interviews only later you receive a letter stating “Thank you for your time and interest in this position but after careful consideration we will not be moving forward in the process.”
It is disappointing! Especially when you get the same rejection letter 2,3,5, 10 times in a row. It can feel like a huge blow to your ego especially when you feel like you killed the interview, answered all the questions correctly and connected well with the hiring manager.
It may hurt even more when it is a job you think you really want and deserve or have been working toward and have dedicated a long time in preparing for.
Here are a few tips to help you put your thoughts into perspective to help you gain the resilience you need to keep going when you don’t land your dream job right away.
1. This rejection is not a reflection of your value or worth.
Just because you didnt get the job. it doesn’t mean that you are an incompetent, unintelligent and incapable.
Remind yourself that when employers are looking at your resume that they are just looking at words on a paper which describe your skills and qualifications to see if you match with what they are looking for. That’s it!
Your employer is just ensuring that their new potential employee matches well with the job and that it may produce a long, lasting professional relationship.
It is easy to take rejection personally but when it comes to work and career, remind yourself that it is not personal.
2. Things happen for a reason.
Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and that can actually be a blessing in disguise.
You might be lucky later on down the road with landing a different job position that didn’t follow your original plans but may discover has turned out into an even better opportunity! Sometimes it is just the timing of things and life doesn’t always go as planned, expect the unexpected.
Instead of fighting against it, accept the fact that your plans can change and that it always doesn’t go as expected. Get flexible and learn to roll with the punches.
3. Rejection happens to everyone
You’re not special. The real world is a competitive place and there are also equally and sometimes more qualified people out there going for the same jobs as you.
Don’t let this discourage you.
Knowing this, even the most successful of people have been rejected but they still became successful in the end because they didn’t give up and they gave 100% each time in spite of the odds.
You already may know some famous but still successful rejects. One such as J.k. Rowling, the famous children’s book author, whom was rejected 12 times from publishers for her Harry Potter Series and now the franchise now estimated to be worth near $25 billion. Another famous “failure” : Elon Musk, the 10x engineer entrepeneur billionaire whom was ousted from 2 of his own companies Zip2 and PayPal and several failed explosive rocket launches with his self-started company, SpaceX.
These people were great because they didn’t give up on themselves or their beliefs.
Rejection is a part of life. It’s learning to get up and having the resilience to keep going in spite of the rejection.
4. Be realistic by accepting the process.
I know, initially, in my job search I was bright eyed and bushy tailed and a bit overzealous in how “easy” I thought it was going to be.
Depending on how difficult or easy your goal is will determine how long it may take to get there. As the saying goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day” meaning all great things take time.
Be honest with yourself in trusting that the process takes time and planning could be for days, weeks, months, or even years.
Plan out a timeline. And if it is a longer process, write out those benchmark dates and celebrate those milestones and smaller achievements to help fuel your motivation to keep going for the long haul.
5. Rejection makes you better! And is actually GOOD!
Early in my career as a new grad, there was a recession in the nursing job market and it was hard landing a job. Some of my peers and college classmates even had to leave home and go out of state to find work. For me, it took me over a year of consistent applications, interviews, follow up calls, and rejection letters. I have definitely had a few good episodes of frustration and tears in my job hunting process where I felt like it would never happen in spite of my trying.
I look back at it and realized that crying doesn’t make you weak. When you cry or have emotion it shows you are passionate about something and care about your goals! Just don’t let the rejection consume and define you. Turn your frustration into drive! What matters is that you continue to do something about it to get better than before and persist.
It is easy to get the job you know you may be overqualified for but it doesn’t help you grow and learn.
If you’re not getting rejected that means you aren’t pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and not striving to be a better version of yourself.
It can definitely be a humbling experience. My process made made me realize this is going to take serious effort to improve as well as teach me to do and try on new tasks and consider different avenues that I otherwise would have never have considered or thought of doing before.
Ask for feedback at the end of your interview: ” What could I have done better?” Be proactive in learning and seeking out areas of improvement. That will help you in moving closer to reaching for final goal.
6. Turn to Social Support
You family and friends are there to listen to your needs and concerns.
My mom, family, friends and boyfriend have continued to be supportive in reminding me to never give up which help provide me with the courage and resilience to continue in pursuing my goals as well as providing me with constructive criticism, tips and advice in areas where I need to improve.
But also just a gentle hug and the verbal reassurance from close one’s who truly care about your well-being do wonders. When they tell you “everything is going to be fine and will work out in the end” really helps especially when you have the tendency catastrophize the situation like myself.
I hope these tips give you the resilience to keep going in achieving your goals. How do you overcome and cope with rejection? Comment below and share, I’d love to learn from you as well.
